A mum-to-be's blues

Hey Diary,

Each day is different for a mum-to-be. She goes through myriad emotions daily. A daddy-to-be may or may not understand these emotions and feelings. This is the reason why a woman feels more left out and neglected as her emotions are put on the back-burner. Even the in-laws think its okay to take the daughter-in-law for granted. It does not matter whether she likes to do a particular chore or not, or even her voice does not seem to matter. In fact, the more voiceless she is, the more fun the in laws can have at her expense. Even if the woman is pregnant, there is nothing called pampering or making her feel good. It is in fact, sadly considered by some weird in-laws that wives/daughter-in-laws should not get adequate attention, especially when they are pregnant. It does not matter if her antenatal appointment is cancelled. It doesn't matter if she skips a doctor's visit. After all, she is carrying a stranger's baby, right?? How crass and crude, isn't it? No one has time to think about the mother-to-be or her feelings. As long as she maintains her silence, she is considered an angel, else considered a rebel or even in some cases, a wife who shirks from household duties.Why? Just because she decides to take a stand for herself and does something that is non-traditional or out of the way. The moment she expresses dissent, she instantly becomes the quintessential bad 'bahu'/wife/ daughter-in-law/mother/woman.While at the same time, if the guy refuses to be social or polite with his in-laws, it is considered okay.

A letter from Mommy to Daddy

Hello Daddy :)

Just like you are going to be a dad, I am gonna become a mum soon. Its a happy time for both of us. But for a mom, its a more demanding time, both physically and mentally. So if a mommy has a daddy's emotional and physical support, then mommy can cope up with her health much better. A mommy undergoes a lot of mood swings and all she wants is that she has daddy beside her to keep telling her "all is well", "you are doing fine", "I really love you, sweetheart", "Don't you worry" and "don't think you are alone". I know a dad always means these things, but its just that mommy wants to hear these words aloud as well.

You must be wondering why mommy is writing this mail. She felt that she needed to tell you some things about her pregnancy. There will be times when mommy might get extra emotional - for instance, feel like crying or maybe she might be extra happy as well. But remember that she doesn't dictate these emotions. Her body is undergoing loads of hormonal changes and so she will need some extra caring and sensitivity from you. Mommy knows that she is demanding a little extra attention, but pregnant women undergo a lot of hormonal changes in the body and need that extra emotional support from their baby's daddy. For instance, mommy will want a hug from you every now and then. This means it would be really nice if you put the "schedule" on the back burner at times, especially when mommy is in distress (for instance, if she has had a bout of vomiting or is feeling dizzy), you could stay back and take care of mommy...make sure she is okay and then go to work. The reason being mommy and daddy are alone here...and are the only ones for each other. Mommy would love to have an emotional and physical support from you. Mommy understands u cannot neglect your work/office, but sparing an extra 5-10 mins to make sure she is okay would really help her feel good. Mommy knows it might not be possible for you to physically comfort her when you have guests or people staying at home, but if you could smile more often and taking her out for a walk (so that mommy could vent out her feelings), thenmommy can cope up with her health better. After all, mommy is not asking you for any material comforts. Its just emotional and physical comfort that she needs. 

Another thing that mommy wants you to know is that she is cooking or doing work at home not only for herself but also for daddy. So whenever she makes anything or does something special, do make mommy feel special by appreciating her (kissing her hand/face). Do not ever think anything is a burden for mommy. So it would be nice if you tell her that that you appreciate her hard work. At this point, mommyneeds to feel that she is wanted by daddy. So, just love her unconditionally because she loves you a lot and hates to feel left out by daddy or being let down.

Mommy loves daddy a lot!

Muaaaah,

Mommmy 

The Notebook

“So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me.....every day.”  

― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

Javed Akhtar's poem...

जब जब दर्द का बादल छाया....

जब गम का साया लहराया....

जब आँसू पलकों तक आया.....

जब ये तन्हा दिल घबराया....

हमने दिल को यह समझाया....

दिल आखिर तू क्यों रोता है....

दुनिया में यूँ होता है...............

ये जो गहरे सन्नाटे है....

वक़्त ने सबको ही बांटे है....

थोड़ा गम है सबका किस्सा....

थोड़ी धूप है सबका हिस्सा....

आँख तेरी बेकार ही नम है....

हर पल एक नया मौसम है....

क्यो तू ऐसे पल खोता है ....

दिल आखिर तू क्यों रोता है ...........

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